Yesterday, I went shopping. My intent was just to purchase a pair of black pants and leave. But as soon as I walked in the store, my eyes were drawn to one of the most amazing sights since D'Angelo's "Untitled" video:
80% OFF!
I was a goner.
I rifled through the racks, looking for some things I needed to update my fall wardrobe. I was just about to leave when I hit the motherload--a pair of high-waisted, dark denim trouser jeans for SEVEN BUCKS. I didn't even take the time to try them on; I just did my "cheapskate" dance, paid for them and walked out of the store with a huge smile on my face.
When I got home, I tried them on and discovered exactly why they were so cheap--these allegedly long jeans are exactly three inches too short. I looked like Steve Urkel as a woman....whom I suppose would be Myrtle Urkel, but I digress. I sighed and made a mental note to take them back in the morning.
You realize I'm going somewhere with this, right?
The single life has always been fun for me. Even the bad dates--and I have had some BAD dates--have been awesome, in retrospect. Who can forget the man who took me to a shooting range for our first date....and had a trunk full of military-issued rifles? How about the Interviewer--the man who, on the first date, inquired about my income, the square footage of my house, my credit score and my investment portfolio?
At least they make good anecdotes for blogs about dating.
There's something about the end of your 20s that causes you to reflect. As I look back, I still find these tales quite amusing. However, I also see the pattern: the man who seems like a great catch; feels and looks like the real thing....but no matter how you pull, squeeze or even accessorize, he just doesn't fit.
Am I shopping in the Clearance Bin of Men?
Please don't get me wrong--this is not a man-bashing, Waiting to Exhale kind of post. I do not believe all men are evil; I don't even believe the men in my past were all that bad. The problem? I just don't know what I want.
Studies have shown that if you do not have a shopping list in your mind before you enter the store, you will spend almost double what you intended to. In dating, I feel as though I have spent more--more time, more energy, more pain and heartbreak than I ever really had to experience.
Ouch.
So, dear hearts, that is where I am in my life. Time to make a shopping list; time to see what's in and what's out.
No Clearance Bin either. This time, I'm willing to pay full price.
Be Encouraged,
K.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Where Do Broken Hearts Go? Musings of a Road Trip
For the last few months, I have been in (what feels like) the fight of my life. My strength, sanity and even my faith has been tested. I found myself literally at a breaking point, so I did what I always do when life happens...
I hit the highway.
As the mile marker numbers decreased, so did my stress level. Literally, the past was in my rearview mirror and I found myself looking forward with anticipation and laughter.
Of course, I never do road trips by myself. My partners in crime, Shayla and Jeanette, held it down with me as we passed through most of northeast Texas. Along the way, we learned some things.
1. "No one knows me like you do."
Lately, I've been suffering in silence, too embarrassed to share my struggles with anyone, even my sisters. Nevertheless, there's something about the open road that just made me feel free to lay down my burdens.
Surprise--there was no judgement or discouragement; only empathy, support and love. Sometimes, you have to encourage yourself. But sometimes, God sends people to encourage you when you need it the most.
2. The little things.
Have y'all ever been to Ruby Tuesdays? It is my secret love. Any time I am within a 50-mile radius, I am drawn there like a moth to a flame. They make the most fantastic turkey burgers I have EVER tasted, including the ones I make at home. I don't even need to see the menu at this point--just give me the turkey burger and add the salad bar.
I'm telling y'all, that meat will lift up a bowed down head!
(Honorable mention: Lofthouse sugar cookies, snack bags by Jeanette, and the lobster buffet at Boomtown. Needless to say, I'll be eating celery all this week.)
3. Laughter heals.
I wish I could share with you, my dear FBRs, all of the jokes we shared this weekend. Some of them would make you laugh until you cried; some of them would be hard to understand (if you don't know us); some of them would make you think we are complete idiots.
We are, but I digress.
In life, everything just cannot be serious. Even when you are in the midst of a storm, take some time to laugh--not chuckle, grin or give a half-smile, but REALLY laugh. Laughter truly puts things in perspective....
Nothing is as bad as it seems when you LOL.
4. Southern Hospitality
Maybe I'm biased, but I love Texas people. They don't know how to be anything but friendly, sweet and kind.
(This excludes all my exes who live in Texas, thank you very much.)
Once again, God nudged me and I was convicted all over again. Instead of worrying about this or that, I just need to keep showing kindness to those around me. Not just any kindness, but sacrificial kindness. There is a difference.
Sacrificial kindness costs you something--time, money, etc. Nevertheless, it is truly a sound investment. Whatever you spend will be returned to you. Luke 6:38 says it like this:
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
In a time where the stock market can drop 500 points in a single day, I would much rather invest in the kingdom of God.
5. There's no place like home.
My girl Dorothy was right. Even though I love getting away from Oklahoma City whenever I can, my heart rejoices whenever I see the sign that says "Oklahoma City Limits." If I'm not in the driver's seat, I'm already collecting trash and getting my stuff together so I can be in my house as soon as possible.
And here I am. Home.
Now more than ever, I am grateful for this--not the material things or even the house itself, but that feeling of peace in my heart. To me, that's home.
So, maybe you are going through something right now. This situation--this storm, trial or whatever you choose to call it--has a hold of you and it seems like it is never going to end. The way I see it, you have two choices:
-A road trip. Even if you don't have the time or the finances to cross state lines, do it in your mind. Put the past in the rearview mirror and floor it.
-Go home. Find your peace....'nuff said.
Be Encouraged, y'all.
-K.
I hit the highway.
As the mile marker numbers decreased, so did my stress level. Literally, the past was in my rearview mirror and I found myself looking forward with anticipation and laughter.
Of course, I never do road trips by myself. My partners in crime, Shayla and Jeanette, held it down with me as we passed through most of northeast Texas. Along the way, we learned some things.
1. "No one knows me like you do."
Lately, I've been suffering in silence, too embarrassed to share my struggles with anyone, even my sisters. Nevertheless, there's something about the open road that just made me feel free to lay down my burdens.
Surprise--there was no judgement or discouragement; only empathy, support and love. Sometimes, you have to encourage yourself. But sometimes, God sends people to encourage you when you need it the most.
2. The little things.
Have y'all ever been to Ruby Tuesdays? It is my secret love. Any time I am within a 50-mile radius, I am drawn there like a moth to a flame. They make the most fantastic turkey burgers I have EVER tasted, including the ones I make at home. I don't even need to see the menu at this point--just give me the turkey burger and add the salad bar.
I'm telling y'all, that meat will lift up a bowed down head!
(Honorable mention: Lofthouse sugar cookies, snack bags by Jeanette, and the lobster buffet at Boomtown. Needless to say, I'll be eating celery all this week.)
3. Laughter heals.
I wish I could share with you, my dear FBRs, all of the jokes we shared this weekend. Some of them would make you laugh until you cried; some of them would be hard to understand (if you don't know us); some of them would make you think we are complete idiots.
We are, but I digress.
In life, everything just cannot be serious. Even when you are in the midst of a storm, take some time to laugh--not chuckle, grin or give a half-smile, but REALLY laugh. Laughter truly puts things in perspective....
Nothing is as bad as it seems when you LOL.
4. Southern Hospitality
Maybe I'm biased, but I love Texas people. They don't know how to be anything but friendly, sweet and kind.
(This excludes all my exes who live in Texas, thank you very much.)
Once again, God nudged me and I was convicted all over again. Instead of worrying about this or that, I just need to keep showing kindness to those around me. Not just any kindness, but sacrificial kindness. There is a difference.
Sacrificial kindness costs you something--time, money, etc. Nevertheless, it is truly a sound investment. Whatever you spend will be returned to you. Luke 6:38 says it like this:
Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
In a time where the stock market can drop 500 points in a single day, I would much rather invest in the kingdom of God.
5. There's no place like home.
My girl Dorothy was right. Even though I love getting away from Oklahoma City whenever I can, my heart rejoices whenever I see the sign that says "Oklahoma City Limits." If I'm not in the driver's seat, I'm already collecting trash and getting my stuff together so I can be in my house as soon as possible.
And here I am. Home.
Now more than ever, I am grateful for this--not the material things or even the house itself, but that feeling of peace in my heart. To me, that's home.
So, maybe you are going through something right now. This situation--this storm, trial or whatever you choose to call it--has a hold of you and it seems like it is never going to end. The way I see it, you have two choices:
-A road trip. Even if you don't have the time or the finances to cross state lines, do it in your mind. Put the past in the rearview mirror and floor it.
-Go home. Find your peace....'nuff said.
Be Encouraged, y'all.
-K.
Friday, July 29, 2011
Lessons Learned
This week, I had a great many epiphanies on a subject which is constantly on the hearts and minds of every twenty-something: my career. Ever the writer, I felt the need to share.
If you agree with what I'm saying, nod your head.
If you don't.....get your own dang blog! LOL!
1.Everyone does not like you.
To be honest, that has been so hard for me to accept! I, K. Marie, am a people-pleaser. I want everyone in the world to like me, or at least be able to tolerate me. In the pursuit of "like-ability," I forgot one very important thing....
I don't like everybody.
Some people just get under my skin. Maybe it's the way they drink their coffee or speak; maybe it is their overall attitude or their demeanor. Maybe it's because they like the Lakers--and y'all know how I feel about Kobe.
And you know what? That's okay.
Even though I happen to think I am pretty awesome,I have to admit that I would hate to live in a world full of me. Life is about celebrating differences; our very valid right to not want everybody in our inner circle.
So, raise your glass to the people who roll their eyes at you. As Bobby Brown so eloquently put it, it IS their prerogative.
2. "Stepping out on faith" requires action.
If you follow me on Twitter....or we're friends on Facebook....or we are BBM contacts (sidenote: there are way too many ways to contact me), then you know I've been talking about "stepping out on faith" for over a month now. Over and over again, I have asked my prayer warriors to lift me up as I step out on faith. Every morning and night, I asked God to stand with me as I stepped out on faith.
The problem? I never went anywhere. Fear cemented my feet to the ground.
When I was in preschool, my daycare teacher decided that my class needed to learn how to swim. We put on our bathing suits and went outside to the BIG pool. One by one, she swooped up each one of us and tossed us in the pool, where another teacher was waiting to catch us.
I better add that part--I don't want anyone calling DHS on them.
I was standing at the back of the line. I watched everyone splashing around in the pool, having the time of their lives. But as my teacher reached for me, I screamed "NO, NO, NO" and started crying. I mean, full Kayla tantrum mode. I just knew I was going to drown.
She didn't try to reason with me; she didn't try to console me. She just pushed me in the pool.
I sputtered and coughed, but I didn't drown.
This week, I had an adult Kayla tantrum. Only this time, it was with God. Mentally, I kicked, screamed and cried. God listened for awhile, and then He pushed me.
I'm glad He did.
I do not think I can add anything more to that, so I will end here. Be encouraged, y'all....whatever your situation may be, God is still in control.
Learning To Swim,
K.
If you agree with what I'm saying, nod your head.
If you don't.....get your own dang blog! LOL!
1.Everyone does not like you.
To be honest, that has been so hard for me to accept! I, K. Marie, am a people-pleaser. I want everyone in the world to like me, or at least be able to tolerate me. In the pursuit of "like-ability," I forgot one very important thing....
I don't like everybody.
Some people just get under my skin. Maybe it's the way they drink their coffee or speak; maybe it is their overall attitude or their demeanor. Maybe it's because they like the Lakers--and y'all know how I feel about Kobe.
And you know what? That's okay.
Even though I happen to think I am pretty awesome,I have to admit that I would hate to live in a world full of me. Life is about celebrating differences; our very valid right to not want everybody in our inner circle.
So, raise your glass to the people who roll their eyes at you. As Bobby Brown so eloquently put it, it IS their prerogative.
2. "Stepping out on faith" requires action.
If you follow me on Twitter....or we're friends on Facebook....or we are BBM contacts (sidenote: there are way too many ways to contact me), then you know I've been talking about "stepping out on faith" for over a month now. Over and over again, I have asked my prayer warriors to lift me up as I step out on faith. Every morning and night, I asked God to stand with me as I stepped out on faith.
The problem? I never went anywhere. Fear cemented my feet to the ground.
When I was in preschool, my daycare teacher decided that my class needed to learn how to swim. We put on our bathing suits and went outside to the BIG pool. One by one, she swooped up each one of us and tossed us in the pool, where another teacher was waiting to catch us.
I better add that part--I don't want anyone calling DHS on them.
I was standing at the back of the line. I watched everyone splashing around in the pool, having the time of their lives. But as my teacher reached for me, I screamed "NO, NO, NO" and started crying. I mean, full Kayla tantrum mode. I just knew I was going to drown.
She didn't try to reason with me; she didn't try to console me. She just pushed me in the pool.
I sputtered and coughed, but I didn't drown.
This week, I had an adult Kayla tantrum. Only this time, it was with God. Mentally, I kicked, screamed and cried. God listened for awhile, and then He pushed me.
I'm glad He did.
I do not think I can add anything more to that, so I will end here. Be encouraged, y'all....whatever your situation may be, God is still in control.
Learning To Swim,
K.
Monday, July 18, 2011
@ The Brook Besor (I Samuel 30)
Do you know the story of the Brook Besor? Of all my favorite David-themed stories in the Bible, this is my favorite. . In Max Lucado's Book, Facing Your Giants, he describes the 21st century version of the soldiers at the Brook Besor:
The church has its quorum of such folks. Good people. Godly people. Only hours or years ago they marched with deep resolve. But now fatigue consumes them. They’re exhausted. So beat-up and worn down that they can’t summon the strength to save their own flesh and blood. Old age has sucked their oxygen. Or maybe it was a deflating string of defeats. Divorce can leave you at the brook. Addiction can as well. Whatever the reason, the church has its share of people who just sit and rest.
Dear friends, I find myself at the Brook Besor right now. I am wounded. I am hurt. My strength is waning and my confidence is lacking. In the past month, my character, integrity and even the way I look and dress has been attacked--all by people who love God and are just "speaking the truth."
Well, I too must speak the truth: I'm human. This hurts.
So, what do I do now? Rest.
Don't take this as a "goodbye, cruel world" kind of post. I mean, I'm Kayla Marie....I'm not going out like that. However, I realize that now is the time to be really honest with God about who I am and where I am going in this phase of my life.
To put it bluntly, I cannot be effective in any capacity until I allow God to heal the broken places in my heart. And I know He will, because that's just the kind of God I serve.
Anyway, pray for me. And for those of you who also find yourselves at the Brook Besor, I'm praying for you as well. Resting is not admitting defeat; rather, it is acknowledgement of God's sovereignty. It is surrender to His will.
It's like getting a good night's sleep before a marathon. I just want to be prepared.
Be Encouraged,
Kayla
The church has its quorum of such folks. Good people. Godly people. Only hours or years ago they marched with deep resolve. But now fatigue consumes them. They’re exhausted. So beat-up and worn down that they can’t summon the strength to save their own flesh and blood. Old age has sucked their oxygen. Or maybe it was a deflating string of defeats. Divorce can leave you at the brook. Addiction can as well. Whatever the reason, the church has its share of people who just sit and rest.
Dear friends, I find myself at the Brook Besor right now. I am wounded. I am hurt. My strength is waning and my confidence is lacking. In the past month, my character, integrity and even the way I look and dress has been attacked--all by people who love God and are just "speaking the truth."
Well, I too must speak the truth: I'm human. This hurts.
So, what do I do now? Rest.
Don't take this as a "goodbye, cruel world" kind of post. I mean, I'm Kayla Marie....I'm not going out like that. However, I realize that now is the time to be really honest with God about who I am and where I am going in this phase of my life.
To put it bluntly, I cannot be effective in any capacity until I allow God to heal the broken places in my heart. And I know He will, because that's just the kind of God I serve.
Anyway, pray for me. And for those of you who also find yourselves at the Brook Besor, I'm praying for you as well. Resting is not admitting defeat; rather, it is acknowledgement of God's sovereignty. It is surrender to His will.
It's like getting a good night's sleep before a marathon. I just want to be prepared.
Be Encouraged,
Kayla
Friday, June 17, 2011
30 Before 30
In the South (and yes, Oklahoma IS southern), women are bred to do two things: get married and have babies. If you are older than 25 and single, you're an old maid.
I've been told so on several occasions.
Hmmmm. I don't feel old; I'm dang sure not anybody's maid. And quite frankly, there's more to life than rings and bibs. I think we (read: ME) get so obsessed with what everyone else wants that we forget to discover what we want.
I just want to live life with no regrets.
Below, you will find a list of things I'd like to do before I hit the "dirty 30," a bucket list for my twenties. As of today, I have about a year and 3 1/2 months to get on it. Feel free to help if you can; if not, cheer me on from the sidelines.
And if the LOML (love of my life) or Sydney decides to show up during this journey....well....they better get in where they fit in!
30. Find my signature dish.
Church folks know you have to have a signature dish--you're go-to for all potlucks, baby showers and funerals. I've been flying under the radar thus far....but pretty soon, the ladies of UBC are going to figure out that napkins and cups don't really count.
29. Evaluate friendships and really let go of the toxic ones.
28. See the Pistons play in Detroit.
Now, one of y'all got the hookup. Sorry, but it's not like their games are sold-out every night! I just owe it to my team to support them on their home soil.
27. Learn how to drive a stick shift (for real this time).
26. Write a song.
I have a feeling it's going to come out sounding like Toni Braxton power ballad.
25. A visit to the East Coast (gotta see my Philly twin).
24. A visit to the West Coast (Kourtney promised me that In-N-Out burger).
23. Take a dance class
...something Latin.
22. Eat a sweet potato (I think they're disgusting, but I'll never really know unless I try).
21. Learn not to feel bad about saying no--even if you're only reason is because you want to go home, put on your PJs and read a book.
20. Read the Bible in its entirety.
I confess:I have my favorite passages. There are certain books and verses I keep going back to because of the way they make me feel. However, I'd like to go through the journey from the beginning and really see how it is all laid out....even the "such and so begat mama 'nem" section.
19. Accept criticism....
I was talking about this with a friend of mine who was surprised this is an issue for me. On the outside, I appear to take it well; but on the inside, I am HOT. I am learning to take criticism for what it is--medicine. Chewing Excedrin tables is gross, but my headache is gone in ten minutes or less.
18. ....not insults.
I have this really bad habit of internalizing insults, especially the passive-aggressive ones. And sometimes, I literally have to look in the mirror and tell myself: "I am NOT that person." And I mean it too. Either get with me or get left...
And I suppose you could get bent too.
17. Pay full price for something.
I came thisclose to dropping some major cash on two skirts I really wanted, but my cheapness just won't let me do it! I might need some Xanax before I attempt this one.
16. Lose control.
I pride myself on being "in control" at all times; but life is a roller coaster. If I know the restraints are on and working, I can fling my arms up in the air, scream at the top of my lungs and enjoy the ride.
15. Stop spending significant time on insignificant people.
Say it with me: the IGNORE feature on cell phones has got to be one of the greatest inventions in the 21st century.
14. Buy myself fresh flowers at least twice a month.
I have a bouquet of daisies sitting on my desk. Every times I look at the vibrant colors and smell their aroma, I smile. I need that simple pleasure in my life.
13. Pay off the rest of my credit card debt.
Kids, listen to me: buying up everything under the sun when you're in college sounds fun....until ten years later, when you're STILL paying for that meal at the Macaroni Grill.
12. Completely let go of one addiction.
Yes, there are many--I have an addictive personality. However, I just believe that if I can conquer one, I can conquer them all.
11. Run in some kind of competitive race.
5K, 10K, half-marathon....any or all of the above. I just need to prove to myself that I am so over the physical limitations of the extra weight I carried around for so many years.
I could also challenge a five-year-old to a race. That counts, right?
10. Learn to play the guitar.
I am the most musical non-musical person I've ever met in my life! I only want to play two songs--"Beautiful Surprise" by India Arie and "Chasing After You" by Tye Tribbett.
9. Change a tire.
I paid attention the last time I got a flat--I think I can do it this time!
8. Be comfortable without the Crackberry (or whatever cell phone).
I think this is different from an addiction--it is an obsession. That thing vibrates more than....well, I won't make that joke.
But it dictates my life--why should that be? It shouldn't. I remember when I used to turn off my cell phone for hours or days at a time, and I need to get back to that. Technology will not rule my life!
7. Skydiving.
Okay, hear me out on this: I don't really want to jump out of plane. I think I just want to do that indoor skydiving....'cause that's a lot closer to the ground!
6. Cultivate an adult wardrobe.
Make no mistake about it--K. Marie knows how to dress. Okay, my STYLIST (and I do have one) knows how to play up my strengths and downplay my weaknesses. To me, an adult wardrobe isn't much different than what I have now, but I do need some signature pieces:
--the power suit
--the LBD
--the "strut" shoes
Refer back to number 17.....whooooo, I'm feeling faint!
5.Bra measurements.
I have a real phobia of trying on clothes in general, but ESPECIALLY bras. I just grab what looks right and go. But as a woman--dang near 30 years old--I should probably find out exactly what size I am.
Ugh.
4.Drive faster.
Shayla will love that one.
3. Laugh harder.
IJBH, I was in a really bad mood a few hours ago. I was ready to just read someone the riot act, when someone sent me a YouTube link. It was eighteen seconds long, and I laughed so hard I cried. Just like that, I was calm again.
There are a million other ways to defuse a bad situation, but laughter works every time.
2. Write the freakin' book.
Okay, at this point, I'm even looking into plagiarism.
Seriously, I know there's a book in me. I feel the words, paragraphs and pages in my soul, However, I believe it is a process and I will allow this journey to move at its own pace.
I wonder how many people have read The Bluest Eye....I kid, I kid!
1. Every morning, I will look to the hills and expect the great.
I know how to expect the worst--that's easy. But expecting God to do everything He said He would do? Well, that takes faith.
I have faith.
Therefore, I expect the great.
Be Encouraged, y'all.
And to all of my friends who are turning 30 this year, HA HA!
--K.
I've been told so on several occasions.
Hmmmm. I don't feel old; I'm dang sure not anybody's maid. And quite frankly, there's more to life than rings and bibs. I think we (read: ME) get so obsessed with what everyone else wants that we forget to discover what we want.
I just want to live life with no regrets.
Below, you will find a list of things I'd like to do before I hit the "dirty 30," a bucket list for my twenties. As of today, I have about a year and 3 1/2 months to get on it. Feel free to help if you can; if not, cheer me on from the sidelines.
And if the LOML (love of my life) or Sydney decides to show up during this journey....well....they better get in where they fit in!
30. Find my signature dish.
Church folks know you have to have a signature dish--you're go-to for all potlucks, baby showers and funerals. I've been flying under the radar thus far....but pretty soon, the ladies of UBC are going to figure out that napkins and cups don't really count.
29. Evaluate friendships and really let go of the toxic ones.
28. See the Pistons play in Detroit.
Now, one of y'all got the hookup. Sorry, but it's not like their games are sold-out every night! I just owe it to my team to support them on their home soil.
27. Learn how to drive a stick shift (for real this time).
26. Write a song.
I have a feeling it's going to come out sounding like Toni Braxton power ballad.
25. A visit to the East Coast (gotta see my Philly twin).
24. A visit to the West Coast (Kourtney promised me that In-N-Out burger).
23. Take a dance class
...something Latin.
22. Eat a sweet potato (I think they're disgusting, but I'll never really know unless I try).
21. Learn not to feel bad about saying no--even if you're only reason is because you want to go home, put on your PJs and read a book.
20. Read the Bible in its entirety.
I confess:I have my favorite passages. There are certain books and verses I keep going back to because of the way they make me feel. However, I'd like to go through the journey from the beginning and really see how it is all laid out....even the "such and so begat mama 'nem" section.
19. Accept criticism....
I was talking about this with a friend of mine who was surprised this is an issue for me. On the outside, I appear to take it well; but on the inside, I am HOT. I am learning to take criticism for what it is--medicine. Chewing Excedrin tables is gross, but my headache is gone in ten minutes or less.
18. ....not insults.
I have this really bad habit of internalizing insults, especially the passive-aggressive ones. And sometimes, I literally have to look in the mirror and tell myself: "I am NOT that person." And I mean it too. Either get with me or get left...
And I suppose you could get bent too.
17. Pay full price for something.
I came thisclose to dropping some major cash on two skirts I really wanted, but my cheapness just won't let me do it! I might need some Xanax before I attempt this one.
16. Lose control.
I pride myself on being "in control" at all times; but life is a roller coaster. If I know the restraints are on and working, I can fling my arms up in the air, scream at the top of my lungs and enjoy the ride.
15. Stop spending significant time on insignificant people.
Say it with me: the IGNORE feature on cell phones has got to be one of the greatest inventions in the 21st century.
14. Buy myself fresh flowers at least twice a month.
I have a bouquet of daisies sitting on my desk. Every times I look at the vibrant colors and smell their aroma, I smile. I need that simple pleasure in my life.
13. Pay off the rest of my credit card debt.
Kids, listen to me: buying up everything under the sun when you're in college sounds fun....until ten years later, when you're STILL paying for that meal at the Macaroni Grill.
12. Completely let go of one addiction.
Yes, there are many--I have an addictive personality. However, I just believe that if I can conquer one, I can conquer them all.
11. Run in some kind of competitive race.
5K, 10K, half-marathon....any or all of the above. I just need to prove to myself that I am so over the physical limitations of the extra weight I carried around for so many years.
I could also challenge a five-year-old to a race. That counts, right?
10. Learn to play the guitar.
I am the most musical non-musical person I've ever met in my life! I only want to play two songs--"Beautiful Surprise" by India Arie and "Chasing After You" by Tye Tribbett.
9. Change a tire.
I paid attention the last time I got a flat--I think I can do it this time!
8. Be comfortable without the Crackberry (or whatever cell phone).
I think this is different from an addiction--it is an obsession. That thing vibrates more than....well, I won't make that joke.
But it dictates my life--why should that be? It shouldn't. I remember when I used to turn off my cell phone for hours or days at a time, and I need to get back to that. Technology will not rule my life!
7. Skydiving.
Okay, hear me out on this: I don't really want to jump out of plane. I think I just want to do that indoor skydiving....'cause that's a lot closer to the ground!
6. Cultivate an adult wardrobe.
Make no mistake about it--K. Marie knows how to dress. Okay, my STYLIST (and I do have one) knows how to play up my strengths and downplay my weaknesses. To me, an adult wardrobe isn't much different than what I have now, but I do need some signature pieces:
--the power suit
--the LBD
--the "strut" shoes
Refer back to number 17.....whooooo, I'm feeling faint!
5.Bra measurements.
I have a real phobia of trying on clothes in general, but ESPECIALLY bras. I just grab what looks right and go. But as a woman--dang near 30 years old--I should probably find out exactly what size I am.
Ugh.
4.Drive faster.
Shayla will love that one.
3. Laugh harder.
IJBH, I was in a really bad mood a few hours ago. I was ready to just read someone the riot act, when someone sent me a YouTube link. It was eighteen seconds long, and I laughed so hard I cried. Just like that, I was calm again.
There are a million other ways to defuse a bad situation, but laughter works every time.
2. Write the freakin' book.
Okay, at this point, I'm even looking into plagiarism.
Seriously, I know there's a book in me. I feel the words, paragraphs and pages in my soul, However, I believe it is a process and I will allow this journey to move at its own pace.
I wonder how many people have read The Bluest Eye....I kid, I kid!
1. Every morning, I will look to the hills and expect the great.
I know how to expect the worst--that's easy. But expecting God to do everything He said He would do? Well, that takes faith.
I have faith.
Therefore, I expect the great.
Be Encouraged, y'all.
And to all of my friends who are turning 30 this year, HA HA!
--K.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
I See The...."Dad" In You?
It's the week before Father's Day--and I am excited. I love taking time to honor the man who has been there for me since that unseasonably warm September day in 1982.
I'm not one to use cliched phrases, but my dad is my hero. I will love and respect him not just on Father's Day, but every day of the year.
*grabs tissue*
Back to the lecture at hand. I realize Father's Day is not always an "easy" holiday, because it makes us think--especially us sisters. We think not only about our fathers, but about the men in our lives; the men who could be the fathers of our children; but before then, our husbands.
Let the church say YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES......
A few years ago, I was conversing with a guy on the phone. Simple conversation--middle names, favorite food and books, etc. I mentioned something in passing about my father and homeboy got extremely quiet. I asked what was wrong and he told me: "Normally, I don't like to talk to women whose fathers have been active in their lives."
Y'all know this both piqued my interest and ticked me off. I had to ask why.
He went on to explain that women who grew up with their fathers are "spoiled and entitled, and no man will ever be good enough for them."
Clearly this man wasn't, but he brought up an interesting point....Biblical, even.
"A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).
(Note: I went with the Contemporary English Version strictly to prove a point--not to omit the word "submit," which was the basis of the legendary dad/daughter debate of 2003.
In case you're wondering, he won.)
As I mentioned earlier, my dad is my hero. My fingers would cramp up before I finished typing just a fraction of the wonderful things he has done for me. And I am spoiled--more so emotionally than through material possessions.
He was the first man who told me he loved me; he reminded me often that I was beautiful...even in the midst of my ugly duckling/Precious phase; he sacrificed his time (and sleep) just to help me work through some of the twenty-something crises I have experienced.
...And you mean to tell me there will come a day when I have to give all of that up...for GOOD?!?!?!?
Nope. Not at all.
Have you ever been to a wedding where someone tells the father of the bride: "You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son?" Same principle. It's not that I have to give up what I love about my father; rather, I should be seeking out those same characteristics in the man I intend to marry. And even in the midst of the pessimistic dating climate, I have met plenty of men who've got that certain something that just lets me know.....
Whether I am his good thing or not, he is going to be a good husband one day.
So, ladies, if you're father is in your life or was ever in your life, think about some of those GREAT qualities; the ones that made you stick out your chest with pride and say: "THAT'S MY DADDY!" Keep them in your mind and on your heart; remind yourself of those attributes, even when they don't come in the "right package."
Another blog, another time.
To my sister-friends whose fathers were not active in your lives, I pray (first and foremost)that God would heal that wounded place in your heart. Secondly, I pray that there is a man in your life--a grandfather, stepdad, uncle or pastor--who has some of those GOOD qualities with which you can identify.
And for all of us, no matter what our situation may be, there is Abba (our Heavenly Father). If you're looking for an example of what a good father should be, it just doesn't get any better than that.
Be encouraged.
--K.
I'm not one to use cliched phrases, but my dad is my hero. I will love and respect him not just on Father's Day, but every day of the year.
*grabs tissue*
Back to the lecture at hand. I realize Father's Day is not always an "easy" holiday, because it makes us think--especially us sisters. We think not only about our fathers, but about the men in our lives; the men who could be the fathers of our children; but before then, our husbands.
Let the church say YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES......
A few years ago, I was conversing with a guy on the phone. Simple conversation--middle names, favorite food and books, etc. I mentioned something in passing about my father and homeboy got extremely quiet. I asked what was wrong and he told me: "Normally, I don't like to talk to women whose fathers have been active in their lives."
Y'all know this both piqued my interest and ticked me off. I had to ask why.
He went on to explain that women who grew up with their fathers are "spoiled and entitled, and no man will ever be good enough for them."
Clearly this man wasn't, but he brought up an interesting point....Biblical, even.
"A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).
(Note: I went with the Contemporary English Version strictly to prove a point--not to omit the word "submit," which was the basis of the legendary dad/daughter debate of 2003.
In case you're wondering, he won.)
As I mentioned earlier, my dad is my hero. My fingers would cramp up before I finished typing just a fraction of the wonderful things he has done for me. And I am spoiled--more so emotionally than through material possessions.
He was the first man who told me he loved me; he reminded me often that I was beautiful...even in the midst of my ugly duckling/Precious phase; he sacrificed his time (and sleep) just to help me work through some of the twenty-something crises I have experienced.
...And you mean to tell me there will come a day when I have to give all of that up...for GOOD?!?!?!?
Nope. Not at all.
Have you ever been to a wedding where someone tells the father of the bride: "You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son?" Same principle. It's not that I have to give up what I love about my father; rather, I should be seeking out those same characteristics in the man I intend to marry. And even in the midst of the pessimistic dating climate, I have met plenty of men who've got that certain something that just lets me know.....
Whether I am his good thing or not, he is going to be a good husband one day.
So, ladies, if you're father is in your life or was ever in your life, think about some of those GREAT qualities; the ones that made you stick out your chest with pride and say: "THAT'S MY DADDY!" Keep them in your mind and on your heart; remind yourself of those attributes, even when they don't come in the "right package."
Another blog, another time.
To my sister-friends whose fathers were not active in your lives, I pray (first and foremost)that God would heal that wounded place in your heart. Secondly, I pray that there is a man in your life--a grandfather, stepdad, uncle or pastor--who has some of those GOOD qualities with which you can identify.
And for all of us, no matter what our situation may be, there is Abba (our Heavenly Father). If you're looking for an example of what a good father should be, it just doesn't get any better than that.
Be encouraged.
--K.
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Summertime Pledge
Ladies (and gentlemen), please raise your right hand and repeat after me:
I promise:
--(Ladies)to make sure my toenails are painted. Even if I am late for work/church/school, I will gladly accept the consequences in order to fix that chipped big toe.
--to step out of my clothing comfort zone. I will wear colors I have never worn and styles I've never considered....as long as they are APPROPRIATE. Rompers? Not so much.
--to participate in (at least) one child-like activity. Amidst all the tragedies being discussed on CNN, they've left out one of the biggest--losing our childhood innocence.
Find it in a water balloon fight; a Tiger's Blood sno-cone; a game of Hide And Seek at the park; even an afternoon spent lying in the grass, blowing dandelion petals and thinking about absolutely nothing.
--to eat good barbecue. I also promise to tell the FABULOUS author of this blog about any barbecue within a 50-mile radius.
--to make sure the AC is running efficiently at ALL times. If not, thou shalt have the numbers of three good repairmen on speed dial.
--to take one road trip, even if it's just to the other side of town. I know, gas is expensive...and? 40 bucks in Appalonia reaps dividends to my stress levels and my soul. Open the sunroof, put on that good music, press the pedal all the way to the floor and GO.
--to laugh. Often. Until tears stream down my face and my stomach cramps up. Free, fun and so worth it.
--take lots of pictures....and not just to preserve your "I'm awesome" FB/Twitter image. Next February, when you're so cold you can't feel your calves, much less your toes, you can look back on those pictures and know summer is just around the corner.
--not obsess over "summer lovin.'" I know, I know....it happened for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. One of Mariah Carey's best songs is "Fourth of July," all about a summertime romance. Everybody is showing more skin; your hormones are raging; all your instincts are telling you it's time to couple up.
Slow your roll, homeskillets. The good news is there is no "magical season" where you're are destined to fall in love. If you haven't met the Love of Your Life by Labor Day, life goes on.
And if you've stayed true to the Summertime Pledge, you can look back with a smile on your face and say:
"Man...that was a good summer."
Here's to a groove slightly transformed.
--K.
I promise:
--(Ladies)to make sure my toenails are painted. Even if I am late for work/church/school, I will gladly accept the consequences in order to fix that chipped big toe.
--to step out of my clothing comfort zone. I will wear colors I have never worn and styles I've never considered....as long as they are APPROPRIATE. Rompers? Not so much.
--to participate in (at least) one child-like activity. Amidst all the tragedies being discussed on CNN, they've left out one of the biggest--losing our childhood innocence.
Find it in a water balloon fight; a Tiger's Blood sno-cone; a game of Hide And Seek at the park; even an afternoon spent lying in the grass, blowing dandelion petals and thinking about absolutely nothing.
--to eat good barbecue. I also promise to tell the FABULOUS author of this blog about any barbecue within a 50-mile radius.
--to make sure the AC is running efficiently at ALL times. If not, thou shalt have the numbers of three good repairmen on speed dial.
--to take one road trip, even if it's just to the other side of town. I know, gas is expensive...and? 40 bucks in Appalonia reaps dividends to my stress levels and my soul. Open the sunroof, put on that good music, press the pedal all the way to the floor and GO.
--to laugh. Often. Until tears stream down my face and my stomach cramps up. Free, fun and so worth it.
--take lots of pictures....and not just to preserve your "I'm awesome" FB/Twitter image. Next February, when you're so cold you can't feel your calves, much less your toes, you can look back on those pictures and know summer is just around the corner.
--not obsess over "summer lovin.'" I know, I know....it happened for John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John. One of Mariah Carey's best songs is "Fourth of July," all about a summertime romance. Everybody is showing more skin; your hormones are raging; all your instincts are telling you it's time to couple up.
Slow your roll, homeskillets. The good news is there is no "magical season" where you're are destined to fall in love. If you haven't met the Love of Your Life by Labor Day, life goes on.
And if you've stayed true to the Summertime Pledge, you can look back with a smile on your face and say:
"Man...that was a good summer."
Here's to a groove slightly transformed.
--K.
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