Thursday, March 4, 2010

Who am I.....Here Am I.

Something is missing.

Make no mistake about it--I love my life. Slowly but surely, Kayla is becoming.....well, Kayla. Unashamedly and unabashedly apologetic for all of my quirks, faults, flaws and the rest.

And yet, I still feel something is missing.

I'm not one of those people who likes to complain about relationships. I just believe everything will fall into place at the right time.

Like many twenty-somethings, I struggle with envy: I want it all and I want it now (Note: I don't think there's anything wrong with admitting this is a struggle for a *gasp* Christian. God is still working on me).

Some mornings, I exercise just for the escape. I'm just focused on finishing the workout--not bills or perceived failures; not my heart and the insane way it reaches for people who will not care for it as their own.

Sweat helps. A lot.

I guess I'm just a work in progress.

Looking back, I see the growth. Things that would have hurt me, cut me to the core, do not even make me flinch right now. I'm grateful.

I see how my relationship with Christ has aided in changing who I am. The more I stop trying to take the lead, the easier (and more beautiful) the dance of life becomes.

I am resisting the urge to "prove" myself to others.

I Googled myself. I even thought about beefing up my entries.

I'm thinking.

I'm working.

I know I am capable of more and yet.....

I'm content with this season of my life.

The scales are unbalanced.

Somehow, it makes perfect sense to me.

My song half-written--or maybe it's just not ready to be published.



Still encouraged though.


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