Tuesday, March 15, 2011

May I Keep It Real?

I was driving down Memorial this afternoon when I noticed that Appalonia was pulling to the right. I turned into a gas station and was not surprised to find that the tire was flat. I called my girl Nadia to help and (with the aid of another Good Samaritan) got the tire changed.

Ordinary occurrence, right?

When I looked at the tire, there was a nail embedded in it and it was ripped straight down the middle. If I had gotten on the highway like I intended to, that very easily could have turned into an accident. Chills ran down my spine as I thought about how, once again, God spared me from dangers seen and unseen.

As I drove home, I started thinking. You have plenty of time to do that when you can only go 30, as my spare happens to be the approximate size of a dinner plate. I thought about my purpose in this life; obviously, God has me here for a reason.

But what?

That is the question of the day. In my heart, I feel as if I am just existing. I have become complacent in my life--it ain't broke, so I won't fix it. Yet, something is telling me that is no longer enough.

This is far greater than my career, relationship status or anything like that. Again, I find myself at a crossroad and I am not exactly sure where to turn. I have no doubt in my mind that God will be with me wherever I decide to go, but I have a feeling that what He desires of me is far bigger than any task I have ever accepted.

The conundrum of the twenty-something: can I step out on faith?

What gives me great comfort at this confusing time in my life are those who have traversed this path before me.

I think of my mother, who stepped out on faith until the very end.
I think of my father, who has this incredible ability to remain calm in the face of life's biggest storms.
I think of my cousins, who have inspired me by branching out...'cause life is so much bigger than Oklahoma.
I think of my girl Mina, who walked away from a "good" situation because her heart knew that GREAT was on the horizon.
I think of all the people, even strangers, who have shared their stories with me. Even the most unstable person has a pearl of wisdom if you're looking hard enough.
I think of me. I have been here before, and I know what is required.

I think of God, who really knows me.....I mean REALLY knows me. I can almost picture Him smiling like a child with a secret, for He already knows the conclusion of the matter.

As I type this, I feel someone out there is going through a similar situation. Your world is black and white when you know there are thousands of other colors on the palette. I don't know about you, but I'm ready to dip my brush in some reds, yellows, pinks and blues to create my mural.

My life.

Chase the rainbow.

Be encouraged,

Monday, March 14, 2011

IJBH: 3/14/11

Just being honest....

....I have to blog about this for posterity's sake, but there are not enough words in my vocabulary to explain the way I feel about 2011 Annual Youth Day. In just a few short moments, my whole life was changed. Everything was put into perspective and I have been completely humbled.

More than anything, it was proof that God's ways/thoughts are far higher than mine. I thought I knew what to expect, but I was completely unprepared for the outpouring of pure worship yesterday afternoon. Even today, I cannot stop crying as I think about what transpired.

I think we said it best in the last song we sang: "my storage is empty." Lord, whatever You want to do in my life, do it. I'm just along for the ride.

....In other news, I just realized I am absolutely ignant. Some of the things I say and the thoughts I have completely defy logic. I wonder if I can get a check for that. I ought to just go up to DHS and tell them I'd like a disability check...

DHS Worker: Okay, ma'am--what's your disability?
Me: I ain't got the sense God gave a chicken!

Hey, it's worth a try!

.....I don't know why people want to whistle first thing in the morning! Look: it's cold, it's rainy and I just lost an hour of sleep. Furthermore, you already know I'm not a morning person.

Translation? Whistle again and I will "zippidee" your "doodah!"

.....In the dating/relationship world, it's funny how your eyes can be opened to new things and new experiences.

May I keep it real for a few moments?

I have a type. Everybody and their mama knows my type. However, that "type" has caused a lot of sleepless nights and wounds on my heart. Hear me when I say that I am not placing the blame on them at all....for true insanity is when YOU keep doing the same thing while expecting different results.

I'm just saying I think it's time to step out of my comfort zone. Interpret that as you wish.

.....I'm just counting down the hours until I can go home, put on my Snuggie and watch some "Family Guy." This is one of those days where getting out of your nice, warm bed feels like punishment!

....I sure wish this weather would be consistent! *cheap moment* As bad as my allergies are, I just refuse to pay all that money for the new Allegra. You mean to tell me Walgreens or, even better, Family Dollar haven't figured out that formula yet? Get to work!

.....I'm also looking forward to jogging at Lake Hefner.

If you think you don't like to exercise, I dare you to try it for two weeks. Those endorphins are a beautiful thing--better than any anti-depressant, tranquilizer or pain medication. And the beauty of it? Your own body makes it! Why pay someone else to do what you can do for yourself?

.....Be encouraged. No matter who, what, when, where, why or how, be encouraged. There are so many great things on the horizon, even if you can't see them just yet. Hang in there. I'm praying for you and I know God will continue to do great things for those of us who diligently seek Him.

Romans 8:28,


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Sentenced to Freedom

(For ECH & BY)

You said

I love you

Trust me

My lover

My friend

Mine for eternity

I said

No walls

No locks

My heart is yours



In you

I have found

my happily ever after

And life happened.

I said

Talk to me

Where are you

I miss you



What happened

to the man

I met

in spring?

You said




Emotions so jagged

my heart

was torn


for your pleasure

Tossed aside

at your discretion

I blame myself too.




A new season




I said

Take the bandage

off my heart

I am healed


reaches my eyes


sways my hips

Shoulders back

Breasts forward

I see you looking.

I feel




to try


I will.



Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Maintenance Prayers

(For Anonymous)

A few months ago, I was driving down the highway and Appalonia started "talking" to me. She does that sometimes. Her message center told me that I needed to change the oil soon. I made a mental note to do so and promptly forgot about it.

Everyday, Appalonia chimed her warning bells and told me I need to get her to the shop. Two weeks later (don't judge me), I got tired of her friendly reminders and went to Hibdons on my lunch break. The mechanic asked me how long it had been since her last oil change, and I told him it had been a little more than 3,000 miles...

Okay, closer to 9,500 miles.

Mechanic looked incredulous. He said: "Ma'am, if you want to keep your car performing efficiently, you've got to do some maintenance."

Make no mistake about it, God is still in the blessing business. In the lives of my friends and myself, I see God moving. Situations that have been on my heart for months or years are coming to a resolution. I see the sun breaking through the storm clouds of this life, and it makes me smile.

But alas, we are human. Sometimes, we forget.

We store in the deep recesses of our minds those times when we were so low, nobody but God could dig us out. We forget those times when we were desperate for Him and Him alone. We are so focused on basking in the beauty of the blessings that we forget to maintain what God has given us.

How do we do that? I'm glad you asked. Try the Maintenance Prayer.

1. Acknowledgement

As everybody's grandmother used to say: "People don't have to be nice to you; so when they are, make sure you tell them thank you." I thank God everyday, but there are moments when you have to get really specific:

God, do You remember that night a few weeks ago? I was tossing and turning and I just couldn't fall asleep. My heart was troubled and I turned to you, making my requests known just like Paul said (Philippians 4). Even though the situation wasn't resolved immediately, I felt peace about it. I slept like a baby after that. Thank You.

Indeed, there are moments when you must look back in order to move forward. Take a moment to thank God for what He has already done.


Lord, in the midst of this incredibly awesome time in my life, remind me that this is still about Your will and not mine. As smart as You made me, there are still a lot of things I don't know. There are even more things I don't understand. But what I do know is that You always have my best interests at heart and it all works together for my good. Have YOUR way, God.

Ephesians 3:20 says: "Now unto Him who is able to exceedingly abundantly above all we can ask or think..."

God. Not Kayla.

And there you have it.

I love that I am writing this on a Saturday, a day most people set aside as a time to run errands. You grocery shop, clean your house, get oil changes...

You know, maintenance.

I encourage you to take a few moments today and do some maintenance on your relationship with God; maintenance on the blessings He has entrusted to you. Maybe, like Appalonia, He has been sending you warning bells all week long. Maybe like me, you've been putting it off. Hopefully, you can't ignore it anymore and you are ready to go see the "mechanic."

And just like Appalonia, you'll soon be driving through this life, as good as new.

Be Encouraged,

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

IJBH: 3/2/11

Just being honest.....

....I was thinking about something I used to do, but haven't done in a long time: praying for my husband. Not in the "Oh, LAWD, I'm going to hold my breath and turn blue in the face until you give him to me" way--more like: "Lord, whatever he's going through right now, good or bad, take care of him. Let Your will be done in his life and the lives of those surrounding him."

I need to get back to that. And wherever he is, I hope he's praying for me.

....Raise your hand if you're excited about the month of March! Aside from March Madness (rock chalk, Jayhawks), there is just something exciting about this month. It is a time of renewal for the earth and for me as well. I am leaving behind the cold, bitter months and awaiting a season of hope, encouragement and love.

Yeah, that sounded pretty flowery.

....Why am I just now figuring out how to really use the Crackberry....and I've had this phone since July? It's like I've been living on the first floor and it just dawned on me that I've never been upstairs. When it comes to technology, I promise I'm slow.

....So, at Bible Study tonight (wonderful lesson, BTW), we talked about showing love in our communication. I realized that sometimes, I am not "speaking the truth in love," especially at work. If I am having a bad day, there is no need for me to take it out on the people around me. First off, they didn't do it. Second, they probably don't even realize I've been having a rough day. So, I'm going to work on it.

But for the love of God, PLEASE don't talk to me before I have my first cup of coffee.

.....I really need to go on a grammar fast and let go of my addiction to the exclamation mark. Judging from the !!!!! at the end of every sentence, some folks probably think I'm manic.

....My heart goes out to all of the parents who lost their babies in that daycare fire in Houston. If you know me, you know children are my heart. I can't imagine ever doing anything so blatant to put them in harm's way. But let's face it--we live in a world where anything goes.

Let's just continue to pray for all children and their parents. I still believe it takes a village.

....My co-worker has challenged me to buy one item not on sale/clearance in 2011.

Does gas count?

....You know what I miss? Staying up on the phone until five in the morning. Whether friendship or relationship, you learn a lot about someone pre-dawn (and fully clothed.....amen, saints). If anyone wants to try, I'm game.

Uhhhhh......but I need like two days' notice. I'm not as young as I used to be!

.....I was talking to my best friend today about life. We talked about how difficult the first two months of 2011 have been for a lot of people. And I said: "Well, sometimes you have to go through the mess before you can get to the miracle."

Tonight, if you feel like you are trudging through life, knee-deep in mess, just remember this is a journey with a purpose. There is an end in sight--the answer to your situation.

A miracle.

Be encouraged, saints.