Friday, July 29, 2011

Lessons Learned

This week, I had a great many epiphanies on a subject which is constantly on the hearts and minds of every twenty-something: my career. Ever the writer, I felt the need to share.

If you agree with what I'm saying, nod your head.
If you don't.....get your own dang blog! LOL!

1.Everyone does not like you.

To be honest, that has been so hard for me to accept! I, K. Marie, am a people-pleaser. I want everyone in the world to like me, or at least be able to tolerate me. In the pursuit of "like-ability," I forgot one very important thing....

I don't like everybody.

Some people just get under my skin. Maybe it's the way they drink their coffee or speak; maybe it is their overall attitude or their demeanor. Maybe it's because they like the Lakers--and y'all know how I feel about Kobe.

And you know what? That's okay.

Even though I happen to think I am pretty awesome,I have to admit that I would hate to live in a world full of me. Life is about celebrating differences; our very valid right to not want everybody in our inner circle.

So, raise your glass to the people who roll their eyes at you. As Bobby Brown so eloquently put it, it IS their prerogative.

2. "Stepping out on faith" requires action.

If you follow me on Twitter....or we're friends on Facebook....or we are BBM contacts (sidenote: there are way too many ways to contact me), then you know I've been talking about "stepping out on faith" for over a month now. Over and over again, I have asked my prayer warriors to lift me up as I step out on faith. Every morning and night, I asked God to stand with me as I stepped out on faith.

The problem? I never went anywhere. Fear cemented my feet to the ground.

When I was in preschool, my daycare teacher decided that my class needed to learn how to swim. We put on our bathing suits and went outside to the BIG pool. One by one, she swooped up each one of us and tossed us in the pool, where another teacher was waiting to catch us.

I better add that part--I don't want anyone calling DHS on them.

I was standing at the back of the line. I watched everyone splashing around in the pool, having the time of their lives. But as my teacher reached for me, I screamed "NO, NO, NO" and started crying. I mean, full Kayla tantrum mode. I just knew I was going to drown.

She didn't try to reason with me; she didn't try to console me. She just pushed me in the pool.

I sputtered and coughed, but I didn't drown.

This week, I had an adult Kayla tantrum. Only this time, it was with God. Mentally, I kicked, screamed and cried. God listened for awhile, and then He pushed me.

I'm glad He did.

I do not think I can add anything more to that, so I will end here. Be encouraged, y'all....whatever your situation may be, God is still in control.

Learning To Swim,


Monday, July 18, 2011

@ The Brook Besor (I Samuel 30)

Do you know the story of the Brook Besor? Of all my favorite David-themed stories in the Bible, this is my favorite. . In Max Lucado's Book, Facing Your Giants, he describes the 21st century version of the soldiers at the Brook Besor:

The church has its quorum of such folks. Good people. Godly people. Only hours or years ago they marched with deep resolve. But now fatigue consumes them. They’re exhausted. So beat-up and worn down that they can’t summon the strength to save their own flesh and blood. Old age has sucked their oxygen. Or maybe it was a deflating string of defeats. Divorce can leave you at the brook. Addiction can as well. Whatever the reason, the church has its share of people who just sit and rest.

Dear friends, I find myself at the Brook Besor right now. I am wounded. I am hurt. My strength is waning and my confidence is lacking. In the past month, my character, integrity and even the way I look and dress has been attacked--all by people who love God and are just "speaking the truth."

Well, I too must speak the truth: I'm human. This hurts.

So, what do I do now? Rest.

Don't take this as a "goodbye, cruel world" kind of post. I mean, I'm Kayla Marie....I'm not going out like that. However, I realize that now is the time to be really honest with God about who I am and where I am going in this phase of my life.

To put it bluntly, I cannot be effective in any capacity until I allow God to heal the broken places in my heart. And I know He will, because that's just the kind of God I serve.

Anyway, pray for me. And for those of you who also find yourselves at the Brook Besor, I'm praying for you as well. Resting is not admitting defeat; rather, it is acknowledgement of God's sovereignty. It is surrender to His will.

It's like getting a good night's sleep before a marathon. I just want to be prepared.

Be Encouraged,