Do you know the story of the Brook Besor? Of all my favorite David-themed stories in the Bible, this is my favorite. . In Max Lucado's Book, Facing Your Giants, he describes the 21st century version of the soldiers at the Brook Besor:
The church has its quorum of such folks. Good people. Godly people. Only hours or years ago they marched with deep resolve. But now fatigue consumes them. They’re exhausted. So beat-up and worn down that they can’t summon the strength to save their own flesh and blood. Old age has sucked their oxygen. Or maybe it was a deflating string of defeats. Divorce can leave you at the brook. Addiction can as well. Whatever the reason, the church has its share of people who just sit and rest.
Dear friends, I find myself at the Brook Besor right now. I am wounded. I am hurt. My strength is waning and my confidence is lacking. In the past month, my character, integrity and even the way I look and dress has been attacked--all by people who love God and are just "speaking the truth."
Well, I too must speak the truth: I'm human. This hurts.
So, what do I do now? Rest.
Don't take this as a "goodbye, cruel world" kind of post. I mean, I'm Kayla Marie....I'm not going out like that. However, I realize that now is the time to be really honest with God about who I am and where I am going in this phase of my life.
To put it bluntly, I cannot be effective in any capacity until I allow God to heal the broken places in my heart. And I know He will, because that's just the kind of God I serve.
Anyway, pray for me. And for those of you who also find yourselves at the Brook Besor, I'm praying for you as well. Resting is not admitting defeat; rather, it is acknowledgement of God's sovereignty. It is surrender to His will.
It's like getting a good night's sleep before a marathon. I just want to be prepared.