Yesterday, I went shopping. My intent was just to purchase a pair of black pants and leave. But as soon as I walked in the store, my eyes were drawn to one of the most amazing sights since D'Angelo's "Untitled" video:
I was a goner.
I rifled through the racks, looking for some things I needed to update my fall wardrobe. I was just about to leave when I hit the motherload--a pair of high-waisted, dark denim trouser jeans for SEVEN BUCKS. I didn't even take the time to try them on; I just did my "cheapskate" dance, paid for them and walked out of the store with a huge smile on my face.
When I got home, I tried them on and discovered exactly why they were so cheap--these allegedly long jeans are exactly three inches too short. I looked like Steve Urkel as a woman....whom I suppose would be Myrtle Urkel, but I digress. I sighed and made a mental note to take them back in the morning.
You realize I'm going somewhere with this, right?
The single life has always been fun for me. Even the bad dates--and I have had some BAD dates--have been awesome, in retrospect. Who can forget the man who took me to a shooting range for our first date....and had a trunk full of military-issued rifles? How about the Interviewer--the man who, on the first date, inquired about my income, the square footage of my house, my credit score and my investment portfolio?
At least they make good anecdotes for blogs about dating.
There's something about the end of your 20s that causes you to reflect. As I look back, I still find these tales quite amusing. However, I also see the pattern: the man who seems like a great catch; feels and looks like the real thing....but no matter how you pull, squeeze or even accessorize, he just doesn't fit.
Am I shopping in the Clearance Bin of Men?
Please don't get me wrong--this is not a man-bashing, Waiting to Exhale kind of post. I do not believe all men are evil; I don't even believe the men in my past were all that bad. The problem? I just don't know what I want.
Studies have shown that if you do not have a shopping list in your mind before you enter the store, you will spend almost double what you intended to. In dating, I feel as though I have spent more--more time, more energy, more pain and heartbreak than I ever really had to experience.
So, dear hearts, that is where I am in my life. Time to make a shopping list; time to see what's in and what's out.
No Clearance Bin either. This time, I'm willing to pay full price.