Saturday, December 31, 2011

Auld Lang Syne

Dear 2011,

I want to say this was a great year for me. I would love to talk about how I stepped out on faith, did me and walked with greatness. But, I can't.

The truth is, I made some mistakes.

I allowed my pride to stand in the way. A lot. I flew halfway across the country and let my fear of rejection stop me from truly living in the moment. My anger caused me to lash out the people I love; my guilt kept me awake at night. I accepted every event invitation to The Pity Party--guest list, one.

Do I regret it? Nah. 2011 was just my Scrap Paper Year.

Back in high school, anytime a standardized test was administered, you got a sheet of scrap paper. You could work out math problems, brainstorm ideas or even doodle until you relaxed enough to finish the test. The scrap paper was never pretty or neat. There was always frenzied writing on both sides of the page, pencil smudges, eraser crumbs and scribbles. Sometimes, I even balled it up in a fit of frustration....usually over some preposterous word problem. But I never threw it away. That frenetic writing translated into answers I needed. The only way I could pass the test was by referring to the scrap paper.

So, 2011, thank you. I will refer back to the smudges of anxiety and the scribbles of anger. I will recall the eraser marks of pride and depression. I will put an asterisk next to that whole section about Mr. Big (he knows who he fact, he's probably reading this blog). Every situation, every circumstance is an answer I need:

D. All of the above
E. None of the above

I have shown my work.

In 2012, I'm passing the test.

Still Encouraged,


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