Thursday, April 7, 2011

On Relationships

What is it about this time of the year that makes me want to fall in love?!?!?!

I blame daylight savings time. Too much sunlight.

Looking back, I notice an emerging pattern: springtime is the season in my life for making some bonehead decisions. Something in the air makes me wax sentimental about love lost; scrolling through my phone, hitting SEND on messages that probably should have stayed a mere thought.

If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over while expecting different results, I am cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Alas, this a new year. 2011 will be different. Now, I realize that these actions stem from fear: fear of never settling down; fear of never having little Tater Tots; fear of ALWAYS having to answer that question--"Why are you still single?"

But fear has no place in the heart of a believer.

Translation? WHO CARES?!?!

One of my favorite gospel artists of all time, Mr. Byron Cage, has a song entitled "If You Never." In it, he sings about still praising God even if you never become a millionaire or reach the pinnacle of success. I don't think it's one of his "popular" songs because it is not what people want to hear. We've been taught that we can have EVERYTHING, even when it's so far out of God's will you can almost see Him giving you the side eye.

Me? I love it. Here's my version:

Lord, if I never get to shop for a wedding dress
if I never know what it's like to have a ring on my hand
if I never have to go in Walgreens to pick up an EPT
if I never get (more) stretch marks on my belly
if I never get to be annoyed by hubby's snoring
if I never say "I do"

I'll still love You.

Clearly, I'm not a songwriter....maybe it will sound better coming from my main man, Paul:

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want (Phillipians 4:11-12).

Tonight, I am praying for all of my singles brothers and sisters. And the next time fear causes you to think twice about answering THAT phone call--and you know which one I mean--tell it to kick rocks.

And for the love of all that is holy, press IGNORE!

Be Encouraged,



  1. I'm feeling this one. May still make the wrong decisions, but at least I know I'm not alone on the struggle...m.t.

  2. Hmmmmmmm.....great & thought provoking as always!!! You inspire me EVERY time you blog! I wish I could formulate my thoughts the way you do w/o them seeming like selfish ramblings!! Lol!! But you are so right about relationships in saying...if it doesn't happen for ME...I'm still ok. God has been that good...I am that life has been filled with purpose...I am where I am supposed to be and I'm satisfied. Or will is not always Gods will...we have this image of what our life is supposed to be like...but we need to be able to say...even if you don't do another thing for me Lord, you have done enough.

    I want the ring, the husband, kids, awesome home/career (all in that order!) as well. But if it doesn't happen...does that mean life served any less of a purpose? And if I feel that it doesn't...what does that say about the people I have met, the relationships I have built, the lives I have impacted...does that mean that they were for nothing? We have to realize that you may not receieve what's in Box #1...but that's ok. B/c Box #2 may not be as shinny or pretty or even what you hoped for...but it was made with you & your best intrest in mind. I am at fault...I want box#1 a lot!!! But I'm so glad God says #2 is not a consulation prize or 2nd's the best of everything that is meant for you.
    Thank you Kayla!!

  3. first off i knew who posted the comment above before even seeing her name. second ur feelings are normal for this time of year. ppl think the saying april flowers bring may showers is about weather, ha i feel its talking about relationships. we have avoided men in the winter because all they wanted was to keep warm so we are so open now that its warming(flowers) up and we get in a relationship without even ckn things out thourally. then a mnth later we realize it was nothing (showers). but ur not alone and i look forward to you being happy with ur Boaz

    its ok to feel like that! you should want to be a helpmete
    n.l ps please ignore the spelling errors