On the fourteenth night we were still being driven across the Adriatic Sea, when about midnight the sailors sensed they were approaching land. --Acts 27:27
I couldn't sleep last night.
I tried to count sheep; I tried thinking about sleep. I tried changing my position; I tried changing my breathing pattern. Yet, every time I even got close to REM, anger rose up within me. I started thinking about the "not fair" situations in my life--people who have hurt me with their words and actions...situations that just keep popping up, no matter how hard I try to avoid them.
Anger was like a Red Bull for me. It gave me energy, and not in a good way.
I kept going over what I should have said or could have said. Let's face it--I have the ability to make folks cry without ever having to raise my fist. I wanted them/him/her to hurt the way I was hurting.
They should be losing sleep, not me.
And then, midnight came.
There's just something about midnight that brings clarity. Perhaps it is because midnight is the official start of a new day. No matter what happened yesterday, midnight signifies the promises of a new day. It is the expiration date on problems; the recurring deposit of brand-new mercies.
At midnight, I could not take it anymore. I sat up and talked to God. As Pastor Reid would say, I spread my report before Him. No pretense--just the words on my heart without any censorship.
God, this fabulous vessel doesn't feel so fabulous right now. I'm wounded. I'm worn. I'm hurting. I need You.
And God came to see about me. Ain't that just like Him?
Instantly, I felt those heavy burdens lifted off of my shoulders. I closed my eyes and found the rest I so desperately needed. Probably a little too much because I overslept this morning...but that's neither here nor there.
As I sit here, I can't help but think about a few people in my life who are going through the same thing. You feel shipwrecked; the storms of life have battered you to the point where you are just hanging on by a rope. All around you, all you can see is rain...
To you, I say hang in there. Midnight is coming.