--In the past week, I have eaten mayonnaise that is four months past the expiration date and milk eleven days past the expiration date.
Reason #212,534,987 why I do not have children.
--Why was I drinking milk anyway? I must have a death wish.
--I bought the BADDEST dress on Tuesday...right color, right style, just flawless. I get home, try it on and BAM--t-shirt length. I need to look for tags that say "totally appropriate for those of you with 4 feet of legs."
--A good friend of mine asked me to go to Frontier City on Saturday. To be honest, I am really excited. It's been more than a decade since the last time I rode the Silver Bullet!
--I just thought of a really good sex joke to accompany that last sentence, but I'll let my dear readers connect the dots.
--I finally get the allure of BBM--it's like a secret clubhouse! Of course, it would be ten times better if I could get my message tones to alert me when someone sends a message.
LOL 15 hours later just doesn't have the same effect.
--Someone asked me if I was morning person or a night owl. Neither. You don't want to talk to me before I've had a cup of coffee; God help you if you interrupt my dreams with a text.
But I'm cool in the afternoons! Or dusk. Yeah, call me a dusk owl.
Well....that's my time! You've been a beautiful audience! Thank you and goodnight!
Shutup, Shayla--this WAS funny.