Tuesday, June 14, 2011

I See The...."Dad" In You?

It's the week before Father's Day--and I am excited. I love taking time to honor the man who has been there for me since that unseasonably warm September day in 1982.

I'm not one to use cliched phrases, but my dad is my hero. I will love and respect him not just on Father's Day, but every day of the year.

*grabs tissue*

Back to the lecture at hand. I realize Father's Day is not always an "easy" holiday, because it makes us think--especially us sisters. We think not only about our fathers, but about the men in our lives; the men who could be the fathers of our children; but before then, our husbands.

Let the church say YEEEEEEEEEEEEEES......

A few years ago, I was conversing with a guy on the phone. Simple conversation--middle names, favorite food and books, etc. I mentioned something in passing about my father and homeboy got extremely quiet. I asked what was wrong and he told me: "Normally, I don't like to talk to women whose fathers have been active in their lives."

Y'all know this both piqued my interest and ticked me off. I had to ask why.

He went on to explain that women who grew up with their fathers are "spoiled and entitled, and no man will ever be good enough for them."

Clearly this man wasn't, but he brought up an interesting point....Biblical, even.

"A wife should put her husband first, as she does the Lord" (Ephesians 5:22).

(Note: I went with the Contemporary English Version strictly to prove a point--not to omit the word "submit," which was the basis of the legendary dad/daughter debate of 2003.

In case you're wondering, he won.)

As I mentioned earlier, my dad is my hero. My fingers would cramp up before I finished typing just a fraction of the wonderful things he has done for me. And I am spoiled--more so emotionally than through material possessions.

He was the first man who told me he loved me; he reminded me often that I was beautiful...even in the midst of my ugly duckling/Precious phase; he sacrificed his time (and sleep) just to help me work through some of the twenty-something crises I have experienced.

...And you mean to tell me there will come a day when I have to give all of that up...for GOOD?!?!?!?

Nope. Not at all.

Have you ever been to a wedding where someone tells the father of the bride: "You're not losing a daughter, you're gaining a son?" Same principle. It's not that I have to give up what I love about my father; rather, I should be seeking out those same characteristics in the man I intend to marry. And even in the midst of the pessimistic dating climate, I have met plenty of men who've got that certain something that just lets me know.....

Whether I am his good thing or not, he is going to be a good husband one day.

So, ladies, if you're father is in your life or was ever in your life, think about some of those GREAT qualities; the ones that made you stick out your chest with pride and say: "THAT'S MY DADDY!" Keep them in your mind and on your heart; remind yourself of those attributes, even when they don't come in the "right package."

Another blog, another time.

To my sister-friends whose fathers were not active in your lives, I pray (first and foremost)that God would heal that wounded place in your heart. Secondly, I pray that there is a man in your life--a grandfather, stepdad, uncle or pastor--who has some of those GOOD qualities with which you can identify.

And for all of us, no matter what our situation may be, there is Abba (our Heavenly Father). If you're looking for an example of what a good father should be, it just doesn't get any better than that.

Be encouraged.


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