Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Show & Tell

I am so guilty of reading all of these silly articles, studies and tips about how to analyze a man’s behavior.

 If he stands on his right leg and rubs his belly four times, that means he likes you. If he blinks once, winks twice and whistles "Yankee Doodle," he's going to ask you to marry him by the end of the year!

Silly example, right? Well, that’s the way most of these articles actually read. We are bred to believe that a man is incapable of showing true love and affection; we must read between the lines. We become Love Detectives, searching for the no that really means yes.

Sound crazy? It is. 
Cosmo is making us nuttier than a fruitcake at Christmas.

Do me favor: the next time you're on a date, really listen to what he's saying. Look past that dazzling smile; try not to get blindsided by his cologne (Lord, help if it's Prada....) and really listen to the words coming out of his mouth.  Chances are, you'll hear one of the following phrases:

I’m not really looking for a relationship right now.
If you’re over the age of consent, you know exactly what this means. You can either accept his terms or gracefully bow out, because you are looking for a relationship. And sorry, sis--as great and fantastic as you are, you will not change his mind. He might want a relationship….eventually….possibly….maybe….

Just not with you.

I’m just having fun right now. A passive-aggressive variation on the first statement. Even though we know what this means (inbox me if you don’t), I like to play clueless to see if he’s going to admit it.

Fun? You mean we’re not having fun right now? *Blank Stare*

I don’t see myself getting married.
You can take it as an issued challenge if you want to, but odds are good that you will end up being The One Before The One. That, dear friends, requires a separate blog entry.

I don’t think children are for me. 
Self-explanatory….unless you just have an all-consuming desire to meet Maury Povich in person.

I don’t have any children. *three weeks later* So, I was taking my son to the zoo….
No. No. No. I happen to know a lot of fathers---older and younger; black and white; wealthy and not so wealthy. The ones who are involved in their childrens’ lives? Honey, you can’t shut them up. They show pictures, tell you what they did in school…everything you could ever want to know. Why? Because real dads are proud. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

You’re not like anyone I’ve ever met.
This is one of the best compliments a man can give a woman(or vice versa). Graciously acknowledge it and move on. Don’t ask for a bulleted list on why he made that statement. That puts you right back in the everybody else category.

I’ll call you.
Trust me--no secret formula exists. If he says he’ll call you and he does, then he is indeed a man of his word. If he does not, he just showed you who he was. Believe him or not.

SN: Men who pick up the phone instead of hiding behind text messages will always have a special place in my heart.

I love you.

Not to be confused with:

Love ya.
Luv u.
I *heart* you.

Not sent in a text message.
Not posted on Facebook or Twitter.

 Real love. Cue Mary J. Blige (No Burger King, please).

 Be Encouraged, and feel free to add on to this list in the comment section.


1 comment:

  1. Another awesome blog entry...Can I be your manager? I figure if Steve Harvey can write a book which turned into a blockbuster movie, I know you can! *We all know he has a ghostwriter lol*. Always believe a man when he shows you who he is. Anytime a man "says" he is going to do something and he doesn't, he gets an automatic 50 point deduction from me...I understand emergencies come up so I give a man 2 maybe 3 times (depending on how important the situation) to jack up. Keep in mind when you reach a -100 with me your out the door...No curving, and deductions are high...I agree with all of your points and yes, a man that is truly interested wants to hear your voice and or see you in person versus just texting....Keep up the good work!