Single: By Choice or Situational? Part I

I am just going to keep it real: in my humble opinion, the only people who are single by choice are nuns.

Now, before you burn my laptop in effigy, hear me out. For 99.99999999 percent of all humanity, the desire to be with someone is real. It has nothing to do with desperation, low self-esteem or bragging rights--the heart wants what it wants. That is the way we were designed.

Again, I know some of you are not with me. I’ve heard it before, even typed it on a few Facebook statuses: “Honey, I can do bad all by myself!”

Can you?

Once more, this blog is not intended to berate my single brothers and sisters. With my fist raised high, I say that I am in the struggle with you. I too have had my heart ripped out of my chest and wrestled to the mat. I just think we need to stop playing reverse psychology with ourselves.

Relationships, no matter what you have experienced in the past, have the potential to add joy and happiness to our lives.

However, they are not Super Glue to an already wounded heart. I think that is where the disconnect lies, for too many of us jump from one relationship to another without allowing time to heal, reflect and learn the lessons intended from said experience.

So, if you have acknowledged that it IS better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all, I’m ready to talk to you, my situationally single friends!

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“Why are you single?”

The one question for which I have no real answer. Well, at least not a short answer. If the questioner has an hour to kill and a pie chart, we're in business.

People who ask this dreaded question fall into one of two categories: they really want to know or they really don't want to know.

Ladies and gents, you've been there before. You meet someone who is instantly blown away by the fantabulousness that is YOU. As they converse and notice your smile, your poise, your general enthusiasm for life, they cannot help but wonder:

Why in the world is he/she not booed up?

So they ask you. If you're like me, you coyly smile and say: ".....just because." To me, that is the only acceptable answer for the question which has no real answer.

I suppose I could bust out singing "It Might Be You," but not enough people have seen Tootsie to appreciate the reference.

I must caution you: do not take the question as an opportunity for you to launch into a monologue about the last man or woman who did you wrong. That's like going into a job interview and admitting you were fired for stealing coffee filters and not showing up before lunch.

Again, no real answer is needed. Those who want to know just want to know if there is a chance. And if your heart is ready, there's always a chance.


Stay tuned for Part II.

--K.