Thursday, December 16, 2010

Day 2: A Letter To My Crush

(Note: I should have put this on the first one, but I'm moving slow today. These posts are part of a 30-day challenge to push myself as a writer...and perhaps lay to rest some of the burdens of my past. I intended to post these on FB, but that felt a little impersonal. And then I remembered I had a blog. DUH! Enjoy!)

Dear ******,

I have thought about this for a long time. Should I be coy? Should I go for the cheesy, romantic "I Honestly Love You" kind of letter? Should I just throw caution to the wind, lay all my cards on the table and wait with my fingers crossed behind my back?

I guess you could say this letter is a mixture of all three.

It's no secret how I feel about you. All these years later, I still think you are one of the greatest men I have ever known. I am proud to say I know you and consider you to be a lifelong friend. I still pray for you every night.....and alright, you invade my thoughts a few times a week.

Whether we ever explore the intricacies of a relationship or not, I remain grateful to have experienced this amalgamation of thoughts, emotions, insecurities and actions that really defies logic or explanation. It has colored my idea of relationships in a good way....

--Even as an adult, there's something exhilarating about a "secret" crush.
--Physical attributes change quickly and often; the very heart of the one you love is what makes them eternally beautiful.
--In friendships or relationships, never forget those who stood with you in your lowest moments....and always be prepared to reciprocate.
--There are just some people you always want in your life.

Still, I don't think you can call this a crush anymore. I've moved on with my life; you have too. Now, I can actually hold a conversation with you without feeling faint.

Or actually fainting, which did happen once. True story.

Part of me wants to ask if you know; the other part of me is perfectly satisfied to leave things as is.....

The door is partially open.

Always In My Heart,

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